SOME REASONS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK
WHAT THIS BOOK IS NOT!
Some Reasons why I wrote This book" are many and varied, to show God working in my life, if He loves me so much He must potentially love you as much too in fact maybe more, You have to unlock the potential--it takes work, Strive for the Gifts, I am hard to emulate but there is a road for godhood you too, God grants success.
The Book is about the Most Holy Trinity and especially about Jesus, it Glorifies God and Magnifies Him and His Grandeur, it can bring Jesus and the reader into union if practiced, it serves to bring myself and other contemplatives closer together, I am not arrogant I am exuberant, I have a temptation to pride but my life and self make me the poor soul I am humble, fame and fortune--
I have more or less turned down almost 1/2 million dollars in order to live securely in my present life style, my struggles in prayer are not very very flattering, writing the book was very humbling, it is my Christian responsibility and duty to write this book.
It is instructive and inspirational and could be used as part of a manual or catalogue of Christian prayer and experience, I don't believe Jesus wants me to keep it to myself-He praised me for it at the most profound times.
I am not a guru, the world and the devil persevere and the flesh is an occasional nuisance, overcome by God's display of his persons, Your {Robert's} experiences of God will return {Quoting Father Petro Bilaniuk-deceased 1998--my GREAT LOSS, all those who knew him and the whole Christian worlds' GREAT LOSS},
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Acrobat Reader copyright 1987 - 1999 Adobe Systems Incorporated. All rights reserved. Adobe and Acrobat are trademarks of Adobe Systems Inc. which may be registered in certain jurisdictions. WordPerfect is the trademark of Corel Corporation. Windows 3.1, 3.11 and Windows 95, 98 are the trademarks of Microsoft Corporation.
- The book2.pdf
It has the Index page along with Publication information (Page_3.htm) and Textual Excerpt 1 (Page_1.htm) - The book3.pdf
It contains 1: Some reasons for writing this book, (Forbear.htm) 2: Saint Theophane the recluse (Theophan.htm) 3: Animal which is (Animal.htm) 4: Davieyes (Davieyes.htm) 5:New stuff (newstuff.htm)
SOME REASONS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK
GOD IN MY LIFE: ONE OR TWO REASONS "WHY"
One of my reasons for writing this book, (this comes as an afterthought) has been to demonstrate how God worked in one person's life, (in my life), and perhaps give some encouragement in the form of an example, in certain ways, to anyone the Holy Spirit speaks to through my writing. I am a very hard person to emulate. First you have to get mentally ill, etc. However, what I am trying to demonstrate throughout the book is:
That GOD LOVES US ALL AND WANTS US ALL IN HEAVEN AND JESUS AND THE TRINITY ARE INFINITELY FORGIVING.!!!
If He loves me as much as He indicates He does, to me and to you, in the pages of this book, then surely He must love you as much too. He must surely have given or want to give you all the gifts conferred on me, and many more that I haven't even been able to access.
I am sure that God can bestow gifts like these, without the person receiving them being really too aware of receiving them. So if you are a good person, (relatively speaking), you could receive some of these great gifts of God.
I am, as I say, hard to emulate. I have a lot of characteristics no one would want--mentally ill - essentially unemployable -voluntarily celibate --perhaps unattractive IE overweight- etc.
But my story for the last 20 years has been one of upward mobility in the spiritual life, of overcoming obstacles and handicaps, of growth and achievement, although at no time did I ever succeed in vanquishing or shedding my illness. I remain a well person with a deeply ingrained disability. My weakness shows itself daily.
So one group that might be able to relate to me is the mentally ill. I hope I have been a good example to them. I have tried to be a good representative for them or us.
The achievements have been great. I think I have done much, much more than I could ever have expected from myself 20 years ago, when I first thought of this book.
I praise God for leading me on the path of this success, and I thank Him with all my heart, soul, mind and body for the gifts He has made to me throughout my life. May there be many more for you and myself, both.
Thank - you for indulging me with your time, your interest and your attention. Don't be too hard on me - I am frail like all of us. You are really great, if you got this far. [God willing, I will someday have some more experiences to write about, although God has been notably absent most of the time, from August 1993 until now, 1999. I am told I am in the Dark Night of the Spirit
MORE REASONS WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK
They are in order of importance:
I thought it was a worthwhile addition to the legacy of man and womankind.
It was too important to ignore.
It is about God for the most part. This is its most redeeming attraction. I play second fiddle to God, in my eyes and in God`s eyes, especially according to His role and nature (obviously), so there can be no sense that the book is meant to exalt me and \ or demean the role of God, the glorification of whom is the principal thrust of the book.
The attraction is the intimate revelation of God, His Nature, His thoughts and words, His appearance, His personality and His characteristics. Surely you know that God was here working His magic and I just happened to be here too. I have no virtues except to be a loving person. This piece of literature -- the book, glorifies God and magnifies Him. It may, and possibly should, bring God and the reader closer together.
It may bring me in contact with other contemplatives and devout people. It is regrettable that the book is not only about God, and that I am so prominent here. I often couldn`t avoid it. In some places, I use the book as a springboard to launch my own ideas. This is fair. I am a human being and not just a recording machine.
Please indulge me on this point. Where I tend toward pride or arrogance in the reception of a gift from Jesus, God, or the Lord, the Holy Spirit, please consider how you might feel, if you won $50, $100, or $500 dollars, in the lottery? Exuberant at least, I'm willing to hazard a guess. Now consider how you would feel, if you won $1,000,000 dollars.
You see it now. Your joy would know no measure. Now, what if you thought God told you that you were saved from damnation forever, were given the solution to a big problem by God, gained a virtue, or gained a high place in Heaven? You'd be glad too.
It is treasure in Heaven that I am talking about. Almost all the notes for the book were taken down within minutes of being observed or thought. So the exuberance of achievement is there.
No doubt about it. I know I have a certain characteristic in my personality that recognizes when I have a gift that other people don't have.
Sometimes, I get proud. But always I fight it by reminding myself of my humble station in life. It causes humility because it makes me realize the value of the gift compared to me, the poor quality, insignificant, person receiving the gift. I hate to look like a pompous ass, and yet I guess, at times, I do.
But I can be humbled to the lowest levels of my vulnerability by even a cutting comment from a friend. This is not to mention the recognition that I live on the underside of society, and that, as such, I am considered to be one of the lowest of the low. All I can say with respect to my pride is: "It is there, not as much as before, but forgive me".
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Finally, I would be a liar if I did not confess that I had flights of fancy about the fame, fortune, financial, and other perks that might accrue to me if I was ever published.
Well, suffice it to say that I am aware that this is substantially vain glory, and that my relationship with Jesus Christ is much more important, infinitely so than what the world has to offer. I can't live with great wealth.
I have turned down the opportunity to receive close to a half a million dollars in order to live the lifestyle to which I am accustomed but the money will be there if I ever need it as my family have taken the abundance of money to back me up for life but not to support me as I am now.
I hope, at this time, to put my relationship with Jesus in first place for the rest of my life. I hope to go on writing, praying, and living my quiet little life here in Toronto.
[Besides up until now, Sept. 1992, only 4 or 5 people have read this book and they are not exactly heaping praise on a very primitive version of the book you see in front of you which is what they were given to read. I think it is a very good book. It certainly is TRUE. Maybe, I can sell a thousand copies.]
Gosh I am tired of those words "i" and "me" but They and god's love have driven up my self esteem. Revelations of God! Pride, no knowledge of other's spirituality, self-love, and conceit, and I am despicable and I rely on the mercy of jesus christ for my salvation.
Once more, I will try to allay some of your fears about this book. The book was written for and about the Glory of God. Any Glory I receive is derivative, and the Glory coming from men, that could result from the publishing of the book, would be only the palest of shadows, compared with the blinding Light and magnificence that I experience in the Divine Light. I already have my reward, and no-one can take it away from me.
What I want to do is to share some of my experiences of the grandeur of God with the world, so that they may learn some of His Ways and Attributes. God is the focus of the book, although there is a lot of material on my struggles in prayer. This is not all, by any means, flattering to me. [Also I express my opinions.]
Occasionally, I got into such an exuberant mood with the good fortune I was in, that I would start to think that I deserved such an outpouring of Grace. Or that I was more Graced than other people in the world.
But the Graces are undeserved, to a large extent, and there are many kinds of Grace in the world and I don't know a single thing about the next persons spirituality.
I know, above all, what a despicable person I am, (not too strong a word), and that I am not worthy.
But God gave me experiences that I had and have, and that were and are of a type, degree, and magnitude that are usually associated with mystics privileged by God.
EFFECT MAKES ME SMALL AND HUMBLE, THE BEAUTIFUL, ARTICULATE, DIVINE LIGHT.
The effect makes me feel very, very small, little and humble at my good fortune. I must say that I have my reward -- it is in my daily relationship with Jesus Christ: the experiences of the great outpouring of God's love, in my experience of the bestowing of Heavenly gifts, and the Presence of the beautiful, articulate, Divine Light.
I have written this book as the old saying goes: "for the greater Glory of God". This is God's reward for His gifts to me, (and to countless others I expect, for gifts without number).
Also, I am trying to get this published because I think it is my responsibility as a Christian. We must all spread the message of God's Presence and Saving Power.
The bible itself is the story of the faith journeys of men and women, who if they had not written and been published, at least some of them during their lifetime would be lost to us, along with the substance of our faith, (Heaven forbid!).
The book contains many passages that are instructive and inspirational in understanding the prayer walk. It could be used by the next contemplative as a manual. It could be used as a Catalogue of a wide variety of types of mystical experiences. Also I hope it will be published before I die, because I have no one to publish it after I die.
It is filled with some of the most profound experiences of God that I know of in my own generation, that I have heard of, or that I have read about.
The Divine Light has been so active, demonstrative, Real (spiritually), and variegated, that I have been for years and still am; spellbound, entranced, and overcome by God's display of HIS PERSONS.
I can't believe He wants me to keep it to myself. "You are the light of the world, A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Let your light so shine before men...." Matt: 5:14. I believe that spreading the good news about God is a good work.
But it made me love this person very much and made me more human and fallible and sinful and hurt. Both father Petro and my present spiritual director felt or feel that I am in the dark night of the spirit. The visions will return, God willing. The world the flesh and the devil. GOD PREVAILS.
I am not trying to become a guru. But an offshoot of this venture for me could be a chance to meet many other contemplatives and make some friends.
There is, of course, a danger that I could get puffed up, that my vision could narrow and that I could be cut off from my experiences, (but not from God). I don't think that will happen.
The experiences of the Light are cyclical and Fr. Petro seems to think that they will even come back, if they go away for awhile, provided I pray. These are not just isolated one-time incidents up until now.
The world constantly encroaches, (I am on a number of committees in the community), as does the flesh and the devil. These are my real enemies.
But God is there, even if I stray a bit, (or is it a lot!!!) from time to time. Recently, the experiences have decreased a lot, for the above reasons.
I have had less experiences of God than during the first section of the book. [But by now, Nov.3, 1991, I have seen absolute profundity, depth, and covenant, at times deeper and more broad-reaching than almost anything else I have experienced. Unfortunately, there has been also the presence of the evil one, for long periods from time to time.
SOME REASONS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK
DOWNLOAD THE BOOK
My high quality and spiritual book is available for free in these three formats:
Adobe Acrobat (pdf):
The Adobe Acrobat file is 818 Kb in size. You can obtain a copy of Adobe Acrobat Reader for Windows 95, 98, Windows 3.11, Windows NT, Mac or other platforms by going to Adobe's web site.
ASCII text (txt):
The ASCII text file is about 911 Kb in size and can be viewed with any text editor or word processor.
WordPerfect 6.0/6.1:
The WordPerfect 6.0/6.1 file is about 352 Kb in size and in zipped format. It is convertible by most word processors.
Acrobat Reader copyright 1987 - 1999 Adobe Systems Incorporated. All rights reserved. Adobe and Acrobat are trademarks of Adobe Systems Inc. which may be registered in certain jurisdictions. WordPerfect is the trademark of Corel Corporation. Windows 3.1, 3.11 and Windows 95, 98 are the trademarks of Microsoft Corporation.
If you have any inquiries or comments, send your email to the author at:
theosis8@rogers.com
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